Freedom

Freedom.

You never know how amazing it is until its gone.
I have always been able to go anywhere, do anything, whenever, however.
And now I can once again thanks to my gorgeous little ‘new’ car! There is 3 very happy girls living in our house now!

Tomorrow we are off to Somersby falls. I will definitely take some photos. Here is one I found off the net…

These waterfalls are literally around the corner from my work. I haven't been since I was little but if its not a big trek to them, this will be my lunchtime view from now on!
There are so many beautiful things to do around here but we have been so restricted. It’s time to see things, do things. It’s time to enjoy the world!

My sister and I had a massive chat the other night about taking time out for ourselves. We don’t relax.. ever..

We don’t know how too. Unless we have a drink in our hand, both of us are on edge, waiting for the next thing to happen. So we are on a mission to learn how to relax.
A few months ago, we put away the computers and phones and watched a few movies. I don’t think either of us realized how good it made us both feel. So one night a weekend from now on is movie night, filled with chips & lollies and a lounge room full of pillows and blankets. NO booze.  Girl time.

Bring it.

My late night thoughts

I'm already in love with writing things down..
So I thought I would share my late night thoughts.. Bed is where I think. It's my alone time. I don't have much time to myself.. I choose to be surrounded by the people I love. I struggle to be alone actually. I'm not used to it and it's completely foreign to me. But I'm learning to enjoy it. I've stopped talking on the phone whilst driving to work. I'm trying to go to bed earlier so I can have that extra hour. I chose to drive for 10 hours by myself instead of flying on a plane full of people. Smallish steps but steps all the same.

So what do i think about? I'm currently all about the future rather than the past. The last few weeks my thoughts have been unbelievably draining. Do I.. don't I... What will the consiquences be? Will I be happy with my decisions? Am I strong enough to not only make them but be strong enough to follow through and also stick to them?

Well I made it. I followed through with it and I'm 100% sure I will stick with it. No if's and no buts. I never thought you could be that proud of yourself. But I am. Proud.

This is the reason I'm choosing to only look towards the future. By looking into the past you can make yourself have regrets. Anxiety takes over and makes you question yourself. Doubt.

I will not have doubts. Not this time.

My future.
MY future is no one elses. I'm so excited to see what the future will bring. I have so many ideas and plans and they're zipping through my brain faster than I can type. I am so lucky to have my best friend to guide me through them.

Work. I hate it! I lie there thinking about excuses not to go in the next day. Then I remember I have no sick days. Therefore I will not get paid. My work isn't bad. Boring but not bad. I am not made for this kind of work. Accounts - boring. I have this personality that NEEDS social interaction. I can't be abused all day. It brings me down.

Slumber Parties - I think about them a lot. I will get into them tomorrow though.. I have thought enough tonight. Well.. I havent.. But my phone is going to die.

The new beginning

Well, I've always been a talker.. But a writer? Not quite.. Thoughts run so quickly in my head that most of the time they're out of my mouth before I could even think of writing them down.
But I've had some inspiration.. I think it's time.
Time for what though? To write? To acknowledge my thoughts? To let other people know my thoughts?
I'm not sure.. All I know is that it's my time to shine.
Newly single (of 5 days) and ready to kickstart my mid to late 20s.

Its time to get moving.. I have a few ideas on where I should be moving too but it will all take time. For the moment, I won't be moving anywhere as such, but my life will be moving forward. Although my yesterday was nothing to complain about, my tomorrow will be what I have dreamed of.

Living in Umina is what I wanted. I wanted to come home. After 5 years in the beautiful Sunshine State I decided that coming back here was what I needed. Stability.. If that's what you could call it. I have loved it here. Living with my sister & my niece has been amazing. Home.

But I after spending a few days away looking at Mountains, Snow, Waterfalls and The World, I have come to realise that this can't be my home. There is more out there and I want to see it. I want to live it.

Life changes, but it's your choice if you want that change to be a good one. So I changed it. I have started looking at a few things that needed to be reassesed and I already feel better.

1. Relationships - I realised that if I'm not happy with the relationships I have, fix them. Remove them. Change them. So I did. I removed the ones that make me unhappy. Im working on fixing the ones that I know make me happy but need a little work and Im changing the ones that I don't want to remove nor fix, I just want them to be better.

2. Body & Mind - There is a lot of things that need to change here. I am watching what goes in. Not only in food but in thoughts too. I have had enough of negativity which I guess works in with Relationships.. So I am filling my body with delicious healthy food, plenty of water, maybe a little less booze, fresh salty air and positivity. If I dont look after my body how can I expect my body to look after me?

3. Life - I'll come back to this I think...

So the current plan is to do next snow season in Mt Buller. That was also the plan this year but things fell apart. My fault. But it was for the best.
I spent a little over 3 days there and fell in love. It was amazing. I cannot begin to explain what happened to me whilst I was there. I would sound crazy. But I guess I will try...
It started with seeing my most favorite person in the world. She looked so happy.. free.. I wanted that.
She is so inspiring. They all are. I will have that one day. I want to be that person for someone else.
The happiness came so easily there. From the first night I was laughing.. really laughing.
I was smiling so much my face looked like a red balloon. The tears of happiness ran down my face and I had no control. Jager helped.
I let go for once. I had no worries, no sadness and I could see what was ahead. Amazing.

So I came home and here I am. I have spent hours at the beach, wiggling my toes in the sand, eating seeds, nuts & dried fruit, drinking water & listening to music. What more could you want out of a Monday? I don't do it often but I have decided, that to start with, I will do it once a week at least. Rain Hail or Shine. Shine - This is my time to Shine and sunshine is what I need.

A few other things I need. A laptop. More music on my phone. Less facebook. I'll see how I go with those. And a car. Argh.. One step at a time.